There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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