Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
