Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My balls are so social today.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
