I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
