we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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