I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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