She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
