Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
