I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I have demons in me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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