Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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