I look better un-naked...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
