I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
