I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
