Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
