Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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