I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
