All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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