i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I would ride that face into the sunset
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I'm really busy with my period
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