Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
