I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
