He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think your dad took our porno
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
