He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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