im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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