K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
