5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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