Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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