Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
