I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
