I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
