I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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