call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
