My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
