So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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