I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
