That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
