If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
