Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
