He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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