I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
