I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
