my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
