Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
