Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
