There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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