Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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