Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
