i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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