my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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