Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
