I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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