ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
