if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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